Time Stealers - How to get rid of them for good

"You can't take everyone with you when you reach new milestones in life"

It wasn't until this year that I really understood what time stealers were. That they could come in all shapes and sizes, including human form. At work, they are described as activities that divert your attention and energy away from your priorities and focus. But in life, they can be people who divert your energy and time away from investing in relationships that you can derive real joy from and which help to enrich and develop you as a person. And so after nearly two years of organising my wedding, buying a home and doing it up. I have had every weekend, evening and waking moment (when not at work) invested in these things.

I  learned the hard way that you can't take everyone with you when you reach new milestones in life. Being an incredibly sentimental person in every way I have always taken everything and everyone with me through life. And that has meant I have carried items with me through 7 homes which I have lived in over the course of the last 8 years, emotional baggage which I should have let go of 7 years ago, and people. I call them people because really they shouldn't fall into the friend category. A friend is a complete, whole person that offers and gives complete whole love, friendship, and support. Not a bit of love, or a bit of kindness - just completeness.

There is nothing more powerful than planning a wedding and choosing to spend the rest of your life with someone to encourage you to assess your life and everything that is in it. You (and this is my interpretation of it) have promised not only to love, cherish, be loyal etc. You have promised to be the best person you can be for that person. To ensure you invest in your own happiness and dreams because the person you love deserves to have the very best partner. And your happiness or unhappiness will have a direct impact on your marriage.

So after many tears and some harsh conversations with myself. I promised myself that I would only keep the items in my home that gave me joy and this would also apply to the rest of my life. My friends, family and how I chose to spend my time.

I chose to listen to what my body and mind told me. I need sleep, I need love, I need a friend, I need to be alone, I need my Mother, I need to be creative. And I also realised that I needed to learn to communicate what I wanted clearly and vocally. Internalising what we want never in my life experience leads to getting what we want.

I am still putting into practice this new philosophy or set of rules to live by. And I am feeling better and stronger every day about some of the harder choices I have made about letting go of some people in my life.

There were possessions and people that had the ability to drain me of energy and time and they only served to distract me from the possessions and people who enriched my life. How could I enjoy my belongings and enjoy the people that were important and good for me if I kept devoting so much emotional energy and time to things and people that were no good for me?

Some people do this automatically, they only surround themselves with good things and people. I am a hopeless optimist. Seeing the good in everyone, making concessions for bad behavior that other people just wouldn't put up with. But I've realised that concessions are just like compromises. And if you are willing to compromise anything in life then you have to be prepared to have something less than perfect.